Sexy Sex: All Day Foreplay

April 26, 2017

When most people think of foreplay they think of the things they do with their hands and/or mouth before intercourse. When we think of foreplay, we think of so much more. 

In this episode we talk about how to architect your entire day so that two things happen. 

1) You remove the obstacles blocking desire.

2) You awaken desire and turn up the heat.

In this episode:

- YOU'LL LEARN HOW ALL THE LITTLE DETAILS THROUGHOUT THE DAY CAN HAVE A GIANT IMPACT ON SEX LATER THAT NIGHT.

- YOU'LL SEE HOW THE WAY MOST OF US LIVE ACTUALLY KILLS OUR DESIRE FOR SEX AND WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT. 

- YOU’LL HEAR EXACTLY WHAT WE DO THROUGHOUT THE DAY TO MAKE THE CONDITIONS RIGHT SO THAT IF THE MOOD DOES ARISE, WE'RE WAY MORE GAME. 

- YOU’LL HEAR HOW QUICKLY MOST PEOPLE RUSH INTO SEX AND HOW LONG YOU SHOULD REALLY FOCUS ON GETTING WARMED UP BEFORE YOU ENGAGE IN INTERCOURSE.

-YOU’LL HEAR HOW WE GOT STARTED WITH TANTRA AND HOW IT'S REVOLUTIONIZED OUR SEX LIFE. 

We’ve also included all the questions that we asked each other (plus a few more we didn’t get to) in the notes below. Use them on your next date night with your lover, dinner party with your bffs, or as journal prompts to get to know your own heart better.

Thanks for listening and thanks for subscribing. If you enjoyed this episode, please click on the share buttons below and share with your friends and community.

BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION:

  1. What turns you on in life?

  2. What turns you on in the bedroom?

  3. What turns you off in life?

  4. What turns you off in the bedroom?

  5. Design an ideal day that leads to intimacy and shared connection. 

QUOTES FROM THIS WEEK’S EPISODE

The Romance & Adventure definition of foreplay is actively pursuing what light you and your partner up and turning on the whole self.

Gives her heart what it really wants-- intimacy! -Morgan

“Foreplay begins at the end of the previous orgasm.” —Esther Perel

00:0000:00

Episode 14: Sexy Sex

April 17, 2017

Sex is sexy, but sexy sex is even sexier.

Think back to the last time you had sex? What was it like? Was it great, was it just ok or was it a minor disaster

Many couples, who really really love each other aren’t feeling fulfilled in the bedroom. Something feels off or lacking. There is more suffering than joy.  Most cases this isn’t because they don’t belong together, or there is something fundamentally wrong with either partner, but because they have never been taught what sexual well-being and a fulfilling sex life, i.e. sexy sex, could look like.

What is Sexy Sexy?

Sexy Sex is the fullness of Love & Turn-On, when your 5 senses are activated and you then experience the spiritual connection.

 

It’s what we all really want and we can’t quite articulate, but know it when you have it.

 

It’s when you’ve got the basics-- safety, love and belonging and it’s amplified by an erotic energy. “Carnality feels welcome and safe.” There is no guilt or shame or fear.

 

Everything belongs. It’s all in the light. Naughtiness in the light is FUN and JOY.

SEXY SEX ISN’T JUST ABOUT INTERCOURSE, It’s connection!

“The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul. ~William B. Yeats”

 

Sexy Sex is sex where you truly open up emotionally and sexually to your partner and receive love and safety and belonging from him and yourself.

 

Questions to know if you are having Sexy Sex

 

- Do you feel energized, uplifted and happy?

- Do you feel calm, centred and grounded, like you’ve become more of your true, authentic self?

- Do you feel more excited confident, like more is possible in your future than you could see before?

"Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions." -Deepak Chopra

 

What is a quick win regarding Sexy Sex?

-Listen to this podcast with your spouse. It will naturally prompt new conversations. You don’t have to take responsibility for awkward conversations, we'll start them for you!

-Get excited about taking your sex life on as a worthwhile endeavor, journey, and adventure that is full of mystery, risk, but is very meaningful.

-Put intimacy on the calendar. The goal is connection, not orgasm. The goal is closeness, not penetration.

00:0000:00

Episode 13: How to Turn Yourself On

March 29, 2017

If you've ever wondered how to really create a new desire in your life, this is the episode where we teach you how, and it's not what you think.

Follow along with The R&A Roadmap for Deeper Connection We are covering #12 DEVOTE YOURSELF TO WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP  

Ron was walking with a friend of his the other day and his friend was telling him about a conversation that he and his wife had a few nights earlier. She looked at him and said, I just don't see the fire in your eyes anymore. You seem defeated. 

How many of us have had similar conversations?

My friend isn't alone, this happens to ALL of us. We've had countless other men and women tell us similar stories. Dreams that are started and never finished. Careers that have had so much promise but then are only met with disappointment. Not to mention the pain of a relationship that has lost its way, especially in the bedroom. The sum total means that we are left with less light in our life.

In this episode, we are going to explore:

1) How to create a "beautiful state" of mind.

2) How to create the emotions in ourselves that helps us delight in whatever we find ourselves

3) How in doing so, we "turn ourselves on," yes even in sex. 

The gist is this, when we do the activities that light up, we become healthier people, we are better partners, better parents, and even better and giving and receiving love in all its forms.  

Plus, we have a few really cool announcements. 

 

Firstly, Morgan is leading an incredible women's retreat in Italy this summer, there are just a few spots left and if you've been on the fence, it's time to act.  The retreat is called Sophia Embodied, you can check it out here.

Plus, Ron just finished a primer on fear called Face your Fear. It's available on amazon or get it for free at RonCecil.com

 

00:0000:00

Episode 12: Feel the Feelings

February 3, 2017

So far, this year has been a real doozy. Politics, job transitions, money, continuing education, 2017 has already been a bit of an emotional tsunami. We are feeling a lot of feelings. 

In this episode, we are talking about feelings and how to really feel those things. We remember Stewart Smalley is actually a US Senator. We discuss the grim reality of panic attacks and that no matter how cool you might think it is, cocaine is never cool. Ever. 

Morgan teaches us what feelings really are ... or at least has a laugh trying to. 

Ron decides to pretend to have a mental breakdown on the street, just to see what it's like. 

We also talk about all the ways we run from them our feelings and 4 things we can do to actually process and grow from them. 

1. Connect with your breath

2. Connect with the physical sensations in your body

3. In a private space, all alone, go crazy and scream and shout 

4. Meditate

Plus, we discuss how learning how to make animal sounds really did lead to better sex! No joke. 

So, whether you are super bummed out by the current political situation or needing to grieve over the loss of the loved one, we'll teach you what we've been doing lately to wade through the very same waters. 

00:0000:00

Episode 11: The Intentional Year

January 11, 2017

In this episode you'll hear our wins and losses from 2016. Ironically, one of our previous episodes was on how we won financially, which allowed us to go to Europe. In a horrible twist, money was also one of our biggest defeats!

Also hear a hearfelt alopogy from Ron to Morgan about not getting her a birthday card last year. 

How we're already winning again with our money in 2017 and consistency and intentionality are the themes we carry into 2017. 

Proverbs 8:22-31

Links from the show: 

Mint.com

We did a lot of research on how to get into investing (small-ish amounts). This is a brand new world to us. We were on the fence between, Acorns, Wealthfront, but finally landed on Betterment and Digit.

More stuff we referred to in this show:

Sophia Sessions!

Come on a muy, muy romantico get away with us in sunny Mexico!

 

00:0000:00

Episode 10: Honeymoon Disaster

December 1, 2016

We sit down with our friend Matt and Laura Arbo who are brave enough to recount their honeymoon disaster. 

This kind of story is one we hear over and over or at least some form of it. 

It usually goes like this, "I was a good christian kid, I waited to have sex until marriage, and it was a disaster!"

Matt and Laura go into glory (glorious) detail of everything that went wrong on their wedding night and into their honeymoon. Including how the FedEx man almost walked in on their romantic, but not very private honeymoon airbnb.

No story would be great without a redemptive ending! They also share their secrets that brought them from awkward and painful to fun and enjoyable!

In this episode you also learn:

  • Why rose pedals on a bed isn't as sexy as you would think
  • How the cultural view of sex is only tied to the male orgasm
  • How preparing for great sex is a must
  • How a husbands lead is critical in making sex fantastic- (stay to the end, Matt really shares some great stuff about this)

We're so grateful to hear and share their story. Go follow them on instagram and let them know how much you appreciate them too. 

Matt on Instragram

Laura on Instagram

 

00:0000:00

Episode 9: FEAR

November 23, 2016

Is fear holding you back? Fear keeps us from making progress and from going forward. It keeps us frozen and buried in shame. In this episode we talk about how we made the break from fear and get traction. Plus we resurrect Sexy Tuxedo Jesus and catch you up a little on what’s new with us.

BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION:

1) What one thing are you afraid of right now in this moment of your life?

2) What is the one thing you are going to do to move through that fear?

3) What's your normal reaction when facing fear?

4) How do you want to live differently in 2017?

00:0000:00

Episode 8: Money, Money, Money

June 7, 2016

If you've ever wondered how we can afford to travel, this is episode where we share how we do it. 

Money, Money, Money or How to travel like a millionaire, even when you aren’t one. Follow along with The R&A Roadmap for Deeper Connection We are covering #7 LIVE GRATEFULLY BELOW YOUR MEANS.  

When we are grateful we say, "What I have and who I am is enough." A materialistic and busy lifestyle isn't sexy or fulfilling. When we trade entitlement for gratitude we end up with more time and money to spend on things that really matter.

We got an email the other day (we read it in the podcast) asking us a very pointed question, "How do you afford to travel like you do?" We knew something like this was coming and thought others were asking the same thing so we thought we'd talk about it in our 8th and final episode of season one. 

The gist is this, we live below our means, we spend less than we earn, we save a lot and we are super aggressive about getting to the root of our emotional and spiritual relationship with money.

In this episode, you are going to learn 6 crucial things that will change the way you think about money.

  1. Why most Americans AREN’T Living a life of true romance and meaningful adventure.

  2. Our own story of redefining the american dream and realizing how our relationship with money had a direct correlation with our connection with one another and our biggest dreams.

  3. The three things that keep most people from getting control of their money.

  4. And how saying YES to just one thing can help you overcome all these obstacles.

  5. What the average american spends on housing, food and transportation and how taking control of these areas will allow to never feel guilty again about that fancy cappuccino.

  6. Some easy practical steps to get you on a healthy financial path, plus 4 questions you must discuss your spouse TODAY, if you want to align your spending with your heart for Romance and Adventure. (see below)

We’ve also included all the steps we took and questions we asked ourselves to get financially ahead. How you handle your money is such a big deal, don’t wait till your next date night to talk about this topic, do it right away. Maybe eat a little ice cream after to reward yourself for your efforts.

1). Get Yourself Basic Financial Education

    1. Enroll in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University

    2. Read every single blog post on SugarMama.Tv

    3. Find a friend who is good with money and vulnerably invite them into your life and your spending habits, ask them for advice and help.

    4. Manisha Thakkar, Director for Wealth Strategies for Women at BAM ALLiance recommends Practicing Joy Filled Spending and doing an audit of your expenses for the last 3 months to really consider what purchases gave you the best ROI/happiness. 

  1.  Say YES to the Hero’s Journey (Spiritual/Emotional Health)

    1. 12 Step

    2. Counseling/Therapy

    3. Program at your church

  2. Have a State of the Union meeting with your spouse and discuss these 4 questions    

    1. What are we spending money on? (use Mint for a good trends report): 

    2. Does what we spend reflect what we value?

    3. What DO we value?

    4. How can we create a new budget that better reflects our values, dreams and goals?

  3. Be willing to make SEISMIC shifts

    1. Downsizing into a smaller house

    2. Selling a vehicle, etc

  4. Sign up for our Webinar How to win at #couplegoals

    1. http://www.romanceandadventure.com/couplegoals

LINKS & NOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Average American Spending

To Buy or Rent a Home? Weighing Which Is Better

More Stats on Debt from NerdWallet

00:0000:00

Episode 7: It’s almost always a turn on

May 31, 2016

If you are following along with The R&A Roadmap for Deeper Connection We skipped ahead this week in honor of our first ever Romance & Adventure Yoga Wellness Retreat

R&A Practice #9 Make novelty a habit. Novelty is a big turn on. Put little adventures on the calendar every month and seek out new experiences to share with your favorite people. Say more yeses to spontaneous invites and fun opportunities.

In this episode we talk about the importance of incorporating novelty into our daily routines. According to one of our favorite sex therapists, Esther Perel, novelty is one of the big three universal turn ons (as in, I feel more alive and and I'd like to have some sex!). We find this to be completely true and something we make time for on a regular basis, whether it's a regular date night, weekend away or something even bigger like our recent trip to Europe. 

So what sustains desire, and why is it so difficult? And at the heart of sustaining desire in a committed relationship, I think, is the reconciliation of two fundamental human needs. On the one hand, our need for security, for predictability, for safety, for dependability, for reliability, for permanence. All these anchoring, grounding experiences of our lives that we call home. But we also have an equally strong need -- men and women -- for adventure, for novelty, for mystery, for risk, for danger, for the unknown, for the unexpected, surprise -- you get the gist. For journey, for travel. -Esther Perel

In this episode you will learn: 

-the 3 universal turn ons

-the 3 things that normally stop you from novel and playful experiences and how to overcome them

-how to make novelty an easy choice (evan at Trader Joe's) 

-one simple question that turns your downward spiral of worry into an upward spiral of possibility 

-how to balance our need for stability and spontaneity  

-what Mr. Rogers says about the importance of play

-our 4 simple steps to experience novelty in your life

We’ve also included all the questions that we asked each other (plus a few more we didn’t get to) in the notes below. Use them on your next date night with your lover, dinner party with your bffs, or as journal prompts to get to know your own heart better.

Thanks for listening and thanks for subscribing. If you enjoyed this episode, please click on the share buttons below and share with your friends and community.

BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION:WHEN 

  1. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING THAT YOU DID THAT SURPRISED YOU?

  2. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE WAYS TO PLAY?

  3. HOW MUCH DOES NOVELTY INFLUENCE YOUR PLEASURE/INTIMACY IN THE BEDROOM 

  4. HOW DO YOU FIND BALANCE BETWEEN A GOOD, LIFE GIVING ROUTINE AND SPONTANEITY? 

  5. WHAT NORMALLY STOPS YOU FROM TRULY EXPERIENCING NOVELTY PLAY AND ADVENTURE?

HUSBANDS: HOW TO PLAN A NOVEL DATE NIGHT 

  1. Take charge and arrange the babysitter.

  2. Put the date and time in your calendar. Make sure your wife does the same, or try and surprise her. 

  3. Budget for the date plus surprises that you might find along the way. 

  4. Plan for something she's always wanted to do or really loves doing, but do it in a way that's out of your norm, like starting the date in the early afternoon or drive over to the next town.

  5. On the day of, tell her which clothes are appropriate, give her PLENTY of time to get ready, let her know the kids are taken care of and all she has to do is be ready to be whisked away. For added mystery, just give her the address of the place your date starts and have her take a taxi or Uber and arrive separately. It's really fun trying to find each other in a bar, park or concert. 

  6. Make mental room for being spontaneous. See the horse drawn carriage going by? Go hire it. Do you hear that tango music playing down the street?Go check it out. Is that a wedding party over there? Go be a surprise guest. 

LINKS & NOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Esther Perel's Ted Talk

Esther Perel's book, Mating in Captivity

Morgan on a unicycle 

A picture of the little mountain we snuck up in Matera, Italy

Do you know what would be a huge help to us right now?

YOUR ITUNES REVIEW OF THE R&A PODCAST!

Thank you so much for leaving us a review. Here is how to do it from your iphone...

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app
  2. Tap the Search tab
  3. Enter the name of the Podcast (Romance & Adventure: The Podcast
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast
  6. Tap the Reviews Tab
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review
  11. Hit Send
  12.  You are done! Big giant hugs and high-fives from us. THANK YOU

00:0000:00

Episode 6: Cuddling otters, libido boosting green drinks and forgiving mom

May 16, 2016

R&A Practice #4: The basics of feeling good physically and spiritually come down to four simple things: eating more fruits and veggies, drinking lots of water, getting good sleep and rest, and forgiving every offense. Keep it simple and simply treat your body (and mind) like the temple it is.

What’s the secret to having enough energy to pursue romance and adventure? How does sleep and water relate to the quality of your sex life? Why is forgiveness as important as what you eat when it comes to living a long and healthy life?

In this episode we talk about the importance of taking care of the basics: good sleep, plenty of water, fresh foods, a steady practice of forgiveness. It’s the fourth of twelve practices that we have laid out for you in The R&A  Roadmap for Deeper Connection and a Beautiful, Happy Life. Ronnie and I sit down and interview one another from our bedroom in Nijar, Spain about what we do to feel our best physically, mentally and spiritually, the surprising (and interesting) things we learned about the basics of self care we normally take for granted, and what we think is sexy about going to bed at 9pm.

In this episode:

- You'll hear the cutest FUN FACT about sleep ever (in Morgan’s opinion).

- You'll learn what Harvard University says about sleep and what John Hopkins Health and the Mayo Clinic say about the healing power of forgiveness.

- You’ll learn what is probably to blame as your biggest sleep distraction.

- You’ll hear the good news that green drinks can actually be libido boosters (recipe below).

-You’ll hear each of our personal stories about struggling with unforgiveness and how we overcame this resistance to to find new freedom in our life and relationships.

We’ve also included all the questions that we asked each other (plus a few more we didn’t get to) in the notes below. Use them on your next date night with your lover, dinner party with your bffs, or as journal prompts to get to know your own heart better.

Thanks for listening and thanks for subscribing. If you enjoyed this episode, please click on the share buttons below and share with your friends and community.

BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION:

  1. How did you live in your teens and twenties? What did you used to be able to get away with (in terms of sleep, diet, ect) that you can’t now?

  2. How many hours of sleep do you need each night to feel your best? What’s your ideal Go To Bed/ Wake up hour?

  3. What foods make your body feel the best? What foods make your heart feel the happiest?

  4. What would you rather drink than a big glass of water?

  5. Do you like Green Drinks/Smoothies? What are your favorite recipes?

  6. What does forgiveness mean to you? How do you practice it?

  7. How many times generally do you have to forgive someone before you feel free?

  8. Tell me about a time in your life when things weren’t going great, but you got your groove back by paying attention to the basics?

QUOTES FROM THIS WEEK’S EPISODE

"For better sex (and to rid your relationship of the “not now honey I have a headache” excuse) try bringing your spouse a pint of water to bed. Good hydration is a key to a better sex life.

“In the 17th century, getting up in the middle of the night was normal. People slept in two segments divided by an hour or 2 of alertness (prayer, reading, intimacy, socializing).”

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven, but seventy times seven.”~Matthew 18:21-22

LINKS & NOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Smoothie for Better Sex

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 frozen banana (high in B6 which regulates hormones and decreases stress)

1/4 cup strawberries & 1/4 cup peaches (Vitamin C increases female libido)

1 tablespoon raw pumpkin seeds (Full of zinc which boosts testosterone, important for sex drive)

1 tablespoon dark chocolate 70-percent cocoa or more (increases dopamine, the neurotransmitter of pleasure)

1/2 cup dark chocolate almond milk (more dopamine!)

1/2 cup cold water (you can increase hydration even more by using coconut water)

1/8 teaspoon ginger (increases circulation which enhances libido)

Better Sex Linked to Better Hydration

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, Greg Mckeon Good chapter on the importance of sleep and rest(BOOK)

Forgiveness: Your Health Depends On It  (ARTICLE)

Narcoleptic Dogs  (VIDEO) & Otters Holding Hands While Sleeping (VIDEO)

You know what we desperately need right now?

YOUR ITUNES REVIEW OF THE R&A PODCAST!

Thank you so much for leaving us a review. Here is how to do it from your iphone...

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app
  2. Tap the Search tab
  3. Enter the name of the Podcast (Romance & Adventure: The Podcast
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast
  6. Tap the Reviews Tab
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review
  11. Hit Send
  12.  You are done! Big giant hugs and high-fives from us. THANK YOU

00:0000:00